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Rejection.

June 11, 2017

 

Isn't it crazy that someone you once had such a strong bond with literally does not think about you. Why is it that the things that we can so bad do not want us back? 

I believe the millennial is the age group that faces the most rejection. This is because our unique rejection is coming from ALL sides of life,  heterosexual relationships, platonic relationships, jobs, family, social life, self image, geek life, social media, and college. Being #20somethings we are in this unique time when we are trying to find and understand ourselves as such a rapid rate while at the same time trying not to compare our start with someone else's finish line. Along with this, some  of us go into college setting, show interest in sororities/fraternities, social clubs, internships, careers,  or leadership positions only to be rejected. When we are rejected we are left wonder why me? I thought I was so awesome. All the while we are looking at this paper, resume,  or speech we have spent time creating to promote why we are so awesome only to hear from someone else whom we admire that you are just not we are looking for right now. Crushed!

 

Sometimes we step into situations like taking a  test just to get out feet wet and see what we should expect. So even when we are rejected we are not hurt because we did not go into it with expectations.  More often than most, we have done all the right things, shaken all the right hands, and given all the love we can give and yet, it is not good enough. Shifting gears, I am mainly going to be speaking rejection from relationships. We ALL have been dumped, played, ignored, given the boot, dissed, stood up, bamboozled and IT HURTS. BAD! 

 

I mean here you are totally into someone, smiling, hanging out on the regular and they pull the rug from under you and forget your all together or you notice how  their interests shifts. I can recall my first and LAST experience of relationship rejection. It was so bad that I could not do anything, but give my life to Christ because I was so empty and broken. However, looking back no one should ever be that distraught over someone, but I was #20something in love and not walking with Christ. 

 

To make a long story short this guy from college that I just knew was the sun and the moon dumped me THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS and it tore my world apart. It took me some years to recover from that very brief relationship. Partly because I did not have a relationship with Christ and because of the intimacy we shared. I am not solely referring to the sex, but in fact the time we share together and that now being gone for no reason. He nor I could explain at the time. If I could talk to myself at the moment some six years ago I would say, "He's just not that into you" and ask myself why do you even like him to begin with?  However, being an already broken woman and thinking this boy was going to make me whole is what lead me to hate myself for about a year prior to the breakup. 

 

After the breakup, I spent a lot of time analyzing myself hating every trait I had because this guy rejected me. In my eyes he was my god in a sense. My thoughts, actions, daily routine revolved round him. Like some women I was planning out future together making arrangements with my life to accommodate our relationship and I can not even remember his last name. Like I said very short lived. I spent a lot of time thinking I was too clingy, I was annoying, I was lame, I wasn't doing enough, I was doing too much, I should have never asked him to do this, and going through ever text trying to answer the question WHY? 

Trying to come out of that sadness I listened to a lot of Amy Winehouse and Adele. Why is it that we listen to songs that do not encourage or build us up? Instead of song about worship, overcoming, and joy songs about heartbreak are so much more relatable, but when we come to our senses those songs do not offer a solution to our brokenness. That's just that, I was broken. I went into a relationship broken and empty and for the time being this boy filled me up until he rejected me and spit me out. He temporarily filled a void, but only God can make us WHOLE. 

 

Moving forward, I cried ALOT. I was at a new school, new social circle, new independence, trying to find my career paths after denouncing MED school and so for me this relationship was an accomplishment of "my list." I finally marked off one of my goals to have e boyfriend. I feel like society plants  that story line in our minds that we will find love in college, but that love is never Christ centered. When it failed, I felt like I as a person was a failure. Thankfully, there was a part of me that began to seek God. I am so blessed that that my family loved me despite my choice to be worldly. The Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6)." From that deep darkness I began to pray and receive daily devotionals. I often offer up thanksgiving to God because of the foundation that my family laid which was foundation of prayer and fellowship. Some people kill themselves after such sadness and I truly get why people do that. Mental health is so overlooked. That pain I felt was unbearabl,e and Amy Winehouse, weed, and  drinking/partying was not healing that wound.  Along with that, after joining a sorority my Line sister invited me to her church and I started to shift my focus from sorrow to love and fulfillment. It is amazing how the Bible is a meal. the Bible is a feast and although man can not survive off of bread alone, I felt so full praying and reading God's word. It is amazing how God will speak to you though His word that became flesh and speak LIFE not death over your situation. 

 

Coming out of that season, I lost some friends got dumped so I was feeling rejection from all side. However, GOD picked me up,  shook of my ashes and called me beautiful. Thought I went through a time of sin, death, and darkness. It was for a purpose. The Bible says, "to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified (Isaiah 61:3)." Though I mourned, God showed me my brokenness and the lies the enemy made me believe that I had to do certain things for love and accept certain things if I wanted to be happy. God showed me myself with no filter.  Yes, in that process of walking with Christ and seeing who I was and what people thought about me I lived with shame because I had not realized what I was doing, but that did not last long because there is "NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE IN CHRIST JESUS (Romans 8:1)."  God granted me gladness instead of pouring and no it was not that God bought my boyfriend back to me. God showed me He wasn't the one and that I could live without him. God showed me Love. 

See that is how God works. He teaches us lessons in the free will that He gives us. God knows that at the end of the day His will is beneficial for our lives. What the enemy sent to literally kill me and destroy my self-worth and esteem helped equip me for ministry, motherhood, maturity, future relationships and being rejected in general. God let me live in the world for a long time and in that darkness I found the Light. Literally, God is a breath of fresh air. God is knowing that even when I am rejected it is for something greater. I am now thankful when I am rejected and even walking in Christ I still get rejected. I am now able to recover from those because I know it is simply not God's will. God does not waste our pain. See the enemy tries to steal, kill, and destroy God's people, but the battle is already won. We still must fight and God gives us tools, but we will never lose even when we think we are because Christ already won. The Bible says, And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified (Romans 8:30)."

 

What this means is that, despite those bumps, hurts, sin, and in this case rejection. God calls all us to assist in his mission to spread the message of Jesus. Thus, when you are in the storm of your life seek out the face of God because there is a lesson to be learned there. God does not waste anything. Since he has predestined you he justified the things in you life so they are not in vain. God justifies and makes them beneficial for the ministry of Jesus Christ. God transforms you pain and suffering into a testimony. God did that for me and I have so much wisdom from one short term relationship. Then, God brings it all together and glorifies you so that what he predestined in you will exhalt His Lordship. You know if it had not been for God who predestined, justfied, glorified, and most importantly  SAVED you, you would not still be here being used by Him.  You pain is purpose in Christ Jesus. 

#20something you will continue to face rejection time and time again. When you are going after your career guess what? Not every one is going to hire you. That is okay because there is someone else out there also praying and fasting for your same position. Along with this God has something specifically for you. God has an assignment for you at a specific time and place with specific people. So if you are ever rejected and continue standing at the door waiting for it to reopen or waiting to get an answer why you can not see the path that God is clearing for you to walk into with ease. #GodIS #GodisLove 

 

 

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