315 pounds and counting if I do not take control of my life. Why food? I often ask myself. Why do I love food more than God? Why do I turn to food to fill me up instead of Scripture? Why is is that I value my relationship with food more than my relationship with God.
The Bible plainly says, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits
Listen, I am all here for the big is beautiful movement. Do not shame fat people, but truly gluttony is a sin at the end of the day. Gluttony is giving into the desires of the flesh. Gluttony is GREED. Often, when people think of falling into temptation, greed, or the desires of the flesh the connotation is not food related. It is usually about sexual immorality or money. However, for me it is about food. I give into my flesh all too often. Even when I fast, the last day is spent thinking about how I am going to gorge myself with the food I gave up. I know a lot of people can relate to this, and we need to check our hearts before we fast again so we are not doing something in vain. After a fast, in reality, I should be transformed by the renewal of my mind for the time I spent not giving to my flesh. In the end, my flesh seems to win.
After 25 years of being obese and numerous diets, meal plans, medications, doctors appointments, seeking specialists, blood tests, and WEB MD searches the Lord has afforded me the opportunity to get gastric surgery. I have wanted this for years. I have been to a few seminars at DeKalb Medical while I was under my mothers insurance and we never went through with it. I guess in her mind she always thought I would eventually lose it. However, I do not remember a time in my life when I was not overweight. I will be getting gastric sleeve on June 13th and I am so thankful that I have a job where I am off for the summer, family that is supportive, and classes that do not start until July. It just feels great when everything comes together at the right time.
Honestly, I had forgot about weight loss surgery. I have been changing my eating habits as well as going to the gym. I started juicing and I felt very energized. Juicing is very tedious and I will have a later post about that. However, for weight loss, juicing "aka" loads of sugar is not ideal. After two weeks of that I switched to no carb meal prepping.
I am actually 311 now. I feel like I am more obsessed with food, but in a good way. I am cautious about what I am eating in a different way than I was before. For me its deeper than counting calories or carbs. I am looking at the sugar, sodium, and the amount of protein. I do not drink with my meals, but instead I drink 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after, and I chew my food to oblivion.
One of the main things I think about in regards to losing weight is my fear of having overweight children. I would never want my children to suffer from obesity at the hands of my cooking and lack of nutritional education. I would never want to put my husband at risk of heart disease or erectile dysfunction from the hands of my soul food. As active as I was as a child, food always was an obsession of mine. I always looked forward to getting home and pleasing my flesh with something good.
It is easy to look at someone who is 600 pounds and think wow how did they get that big. That is, until you are 315 pounds yourself. That is, until you are pre diabetic and have hypertension. Philippians 3:19 says, their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.
Yes, man has dominion over all of the animals, herbs, and grains of the earth, but we abuse our rights and misuse these "earthly things" God allows us to have for the sole benefit of food idolatry.
The Bible talks about the benefits of a healthy lifestyle in the Book of Daniel. Hence, were we get the Daniel fast from. King Nebuchadnezzar forced some of the people of Israel to live with him in his palace so he could teach them the ways of the Chaldens. Among those chosen was Daniel. According to the Bible, the king assigned them a daily portion of the food that the king ate, and of the wine that he drank. However, Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore, he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself.
He was met with opposition from the king's eunuchs. Then Daniel said to the steward whom the chief of the eunuchs had assigned over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, “test your servants for ten days; let us be given vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then let our appearance and the appearance of the youths who eat the king's food be observed by you, and deal with your servants according to what you see.” So he listened to them in this matter, and tested them for ten days. At the end of ten days it was seen that they were better in appearance and fatter in flesh than all the youths who ate the king's food. So the steward took away their food and the wine they were to drink, and gave them vegetables (Daniel 1: 1-16).
Daniel's testimony really stuck with me and showed the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. Daniel was stronger than the other boys and wiser. What stood out even more was that Daniel's desire to fast or not defile his body with the earthy pleasures of the king was his desire to honor God with his body. That is why he conquered it with success. Daniel was more focused on God than what he was eating for God. In other words he as focused on things of the Spirit or above and not things of this earth. Moving forward with this weight loss surgery and in life I am reminded to not focus on the tasks or the assignments, but in all things seek Christ who gives me strength. When I am rooted in Christ, distractions like food no longer have power over my life.
Paul reminds us in the book of Romans to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is our spiritual worship (Roamans 12:1). When we set our mind on eartly things is untilmatley leads to our demise. However, when we are spirit driven like Daniel we are acceptable in the eyes of God.
There are so many health complications associated with having access fat on your organs, muscles, and bones. However, it is more than my health this tool will assist me in having a better appearance and being able to do more activities. Listen people, if you are over 250 pounds you can not sky dive, you can not go horse back riding, you can not zip line, and you can barley fit onto the rides at amusement parks. There are so many things that I desire to do that my weight limits me from doing.
With that being said, the time is now. On June 13 I will embark on my journey to a new healthier lifestyle. I look forward to this so much so because I know the Lord will continue to get the glory over my life for what he has allowed me to accomplish by trusting Him. Sure there are risks and complications, but I know that the Lord is guiding my footsteps and my healing will be miraculous. Anyone interested in VSG or any weightless surgery go for it. Start talking with your insurance companies and seeking wise counsel about the matter. Until next time.